Years ago, I took my sons to a baseball game and afterwards, as we walked to our car, my sons, who were about 8 and 12, saw a man sitting on the curb. There was a large plastic bag with what looked like clothing and other belongings lying beside him, and he had placed a can on the sidewalk to solicit donations. My sons noticed that pedestrians walking by were dropping coins or bills into the can. I don’t know if this was the first time they saw a homeless person, but they both reacted with alarm.
“Mom, we need to give him some money,” they said.
I took a deep breath. I was grateful for their concern, but I hesitated because this was a touchy subject for me.
“Boys, this is a little bit of a difficult situation,” I said. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t always help to give someone money because they sometimes will use it to buy something that is bad for them, like alcohol or drugs.”
I felt awkward saying this to my children, because I didn’t want to diminish their compassion for someone in need. But I also wanted to be realistic and teach them to be discerning.
My younger son, John, frowned. “Well, can’t we give him something?” he asked as we approached the man.
“Sure,” I replied. I was about to suggest that we could offer to buy him something to eat when John took the plastic Batman watch off his wrist and walked up to the man and offered it to him.
“Do you want my watch?” John asked the man.
My stomach twisted into a knot. I didn’t know how this man would react. It was unlikely that a cheap, plastic kid’s watch would interest him, when what he really wanted was a few dollars cash. As I watched my son holding the watch out to him, I feared that the man would respond with irritation or anger. The watch certainly had no real value, except to my son, who was excited when he got it for his birthday or Christmas.
Even if the man simply displayed disinterest, I was afraid that my young son would feel hurt and confused and not understand why the man would refuse his gift. In the spur of that moment, though, all I could do was wait to see what would unfold.
The man sitting on the curb seemed a little surprised when my son asked him if he wanted his watch. He looked at my son, so young and eager to help him. The man glanced at me, too, and maybe recognized my anxiety about the situation. I’m not sure what the man was thinking, but what he did was wonderful.
His face broke into a huge grin.
“A Batman watch!” he said, taking the watch from my son. “This is what I always wanted! Thank you!”
As my son beamed with joy, I knew that this thoughtful, generous man had just given my son a gift. He allowed my son to feel compassion and empathy for another human being. He made my son feel important. He cared about my son’s wellbeing before his own.
It was a tremendous act of kindness.
I felt humbled and moved by his selflessness, and as we walked away, I turned my head and silently mouthed “thank you” to him.
He smiled and nodded in return.
Batman may have been my son’s hero, but that homeless man was mine.
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Ann K. Howley is the award-winning author of Confessions of a Do-Gooder Gone Bad.
Please visit her website at http://annkhowley.com/#about-ann