All’s well that ends well?

It started out fine. The weather looked good and we were only planning on camping in the “wilds” of Ohio for a few nights. What prompted our quick camping trip was because in January at the AAA Travel Expo, we had impulsively bought 20 “free” nights at a camping resort.  Of course, “free” meant we had to attend a 2 hour pitch which the resort salespeople were hoping would result in a $15,000 buy-in.

Nope.

Our sales guy was nice and not pushy at all. But then he brought in the “big boss” to close the deal and this guy pressured us until every second of our 2-hour commitment had elapsed. After we gave them a hard “no” we then found out that because we didn’t “join,” we weren’t allowed to stay the night at the resort, which is what we were counting on.

Twenty “free” nights?

Hardly.

So we had to drive away and find another place to stay. Our first choice was a state park just down the road, but when we got to the campground, it was closed for renovation. So 30 miles later, we arrived at Wolf Run State Park, where we decided to stay for 2 nights.

Jackpot. Look at this campsite. Right on the lake… beautiful view… and, extra bonus, there was a hiking trail right next to our camp. A peaceful lake, a green forest, chirping birds…  too bad for all the disappointed fishermen who wanted our primo fishing spot.

But we weren’t there to fish. We wanted to hike. After dinner, we explored the muddy trail that followed the lake to the boat launch area. When we got back, Maya was so muddy, I took her to the edge of the water to try to wash off the mud that was caked on her feet and belly, but one step on slimy rock and I slipped right into the lake. I thrashed in the water and struggled to climb up to the shore without dragging Maya into more mud. But when I finally got back to camp, sopping wet, I realized that Pat never heard my pleading yelp for help.

Oh well. I changed into dry clothes and laid my soaked hiking pants, shirt, shoes, and socks on the picnic table to dry off. I woke up in the middle of the night, because I was worried that someone would nab my favorite green hiking pants.

Fortunately, everything was still there in the morning.

The next day we drove to a nearby trailhead for the Buckeye Trail, which is a 1,400-mile trail that winds around the state of Ohio.

Here is where things really started to go off the rails.

I wasn’t feeling well, but I wanted to hike, so I sucked it up and suffered through a 5-mile hike that was wonderful, but only hard because I didn’t feel good. By the time, we finished hiking, I was pale and uncomfortable and the second I climbed into the van, I did 2 things.

First, I burst into tears.

Then I accidentally slammed the van door on my cell phone, which shattered the front and back screens. To add to my frustration, my phone was still alive. It rang once and I could hear incoming notifications dinging and pinging, but the screen was dead and there was nothing I could do about it.

Just think for a second what it is like to have a broken, unusable cell phone.

Is your heart pounding? Is there pain in your temples? Do you feel sick to your stomach? Do you feel like you just fell off a cliff?

Yep. That sounds about right.

On our last night, we “wild camped,” which means we stayed overnight in the parking lot at a backpacking trailhead in the Wayne National Forest. The parking lot was so PACKED, we were lucky to get a spot. Not exactly the lonesome boondocking experience we were expecting.

So now, in vaguely chronological order, I’m going to abbreviate a few more unfortunate highlights from the rest of our trip:

• A rock hit and chipped our windshield. Small chip, but darn it! We had just replaced the entire windshield because another rock had hit and cracked it.
• Gravel roads. Seriously. Our windshield was already chipped. Why does Ohio have so many gravel roads, and why did our GPS feel the need to direct us to every one of them?
• On our next hike we got caught in a torrential downpour and Pat had to literally RUN a mile back to the van to get waterproof sleeves for our cell phones.
• While Pat was running to save our phones from destruction, Maya and I huddled under a tree. Drenched and cold, Maya shivered like it was the dead of winter while I cowered every time I heard a peal of thunder as I feared the lightning was getting close.
• A wine glass broke inside the van, which resulted in shattered glass all over the floor and red wine splattered everywhere. It looked like a crime scene.
• Maya barfed on our bed

However, despite the mud, nausea, tears, barf, and broken glass, there were plenty of high points, too. Notably, we succeeded in trying out a few new things, such as…

• The hammock that Pat strung between two trees after my post-hike cry. See me impersonating a pea pod? My thoughtful husband even sat beside me for a few hours and pushed the hammock every time the rocking motion stopped. What a guy!
• We also tried out our Geyser “shower” system for the first time. Maya was the first to get a “bath,” followed by Pat, who proclaimed his Geyser shower a success.
• We hung out our new blue sunshade and ground cover, both of which were fantastic additions to our camping experience. The shade will definitely be a godsend on a hot day, and I don’t know what the ground cover is made from, but it doesn’t retain dirt, sand, or even water. Maya loved napping on the mat and with the mat right outside our side door, no one tracked dirt into the van. A small miracle.
• LOVE the new windows that Pat installed in our “bedroom. They have multiple open settings, built-in screens and shades. It’s wonderful to wake up in the morning with the beautiful world outside right in front of my eyes.
• Plus, the pasta with Brussel sprouts and garlic cheese that Pat made in the pressure cooker was DELICIOUS.

I have to admit that after this trip I felt a little relieved to get home, but our next trip is coming up soon. And this time we are going camping with my son, daughter-in-law, and baby granddaughter, who is TOTALLY the boss of me, so I’m ready to hit the road again.

All’s well that definitely ends well.