How Do Babies Get Born?

This is a question that every parent knows they must be prepared to answer. Fortunately, parents are so much better at talking to their kids about sex these days. No more afterschool specials and unintentionally hilarious chalk drawings in Health Class. The discussion of sex is much more open and honest and countless resources are available to parents who need suggestions or guidance on what to say and when.

But no matter how cued up parents are to talk about the birds and the bees with their own children, no parent is ever truly prepared to discuss it with someone else’s kid.

I discovered this years ago when a cute little neighbor girl asked me about sex.

“Julie” was about 5 years old and in the adorable habit of dropping into my house whenever she wanted. She frequently walked across her back yard, climbed up the porch stairs and entered my kitchen to say hello. Sometimes, if I wasn’t in the kitchen, she would search the house to find me, wherever I may be.

Once, Julie surprised me by walking straight into the bathroom, where I was… ahem… using it.

Taken completely off guard, all I could do was stare at her, wide-eyed and speechless. With a furrowed brow, she studied me.

“My mom has a big bum, too,” she said and walked out.

In hindsight, I wonder if this experience warmed her to the idea of asking me about sex.

“How do babies get born?” she asked me one day.

Again, Julie took me by surprise, but I immediately recognized the risk in answering her question. It was possible that Julie had recently discussed this with her own parents, and was looking for a second opinion. Or maybe, the question had suddenly popped into her sweet blonde head.

Regardless, I had no idea how much she did or didn’t know and I certainly wasn’t comfortable taking any measure of responsibility for adding or subtracting to her sex education.

I knew I what I had to do. Deflect. Stall. Sidestep.

So when Julie asked me “how do babies get born?”  my instinctive, nonchalant answer was this:

“In the usual way,“ I said.

I totally copped out.

It occurs to me now that my own sons were very friendly and outgoing when they were little. Who knows? Maybe they had asked other parents about sex, too?

So, to all friends and neighbors who knew my sons when they were young, if they ever asked you about sex, I want you to know it’s okay if you copped out.

And I sincerely hope you weren’t in the bathroom.

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