Well-behaved children dumbfound me, especially when I see them in a nice restaurant. I don’t mean a restaurant where you dab your mouth on white linens and dine by candlelight, but a restaurant that has adult hazards and distractions, like high-top chairs and tall glasses of beer that could topple, break, and spill.
When my husband and I rode our bikes to The Waterfront last weekend, we stopped at the Rock Bottom Restaurant and Brewery for lunch. Entering the eatery in front of us was a young couple who had a small child that the dad was calling “the birthday boy.”
Since I used to think I was brave to take my kids to that popular children’s birthday heck-hole called Chuck E Cheese, I would never have thought of taking my kids to a place like Rock Bottom Restaurant and Brewery. In my experience, birthday or not, there’s nothing like a small child to ruin your dining experience, especially if the loud, unruly, unmannered and completely unapologetic child is your own.
Many years ago, my son Michael was so out-of-control at a pizza parlor that I warned him I would have to take him outside if he didn’t stay in his seat. Naturally, such a warning means NOTHING to an out-of-control child, so I picked him up, tucked him under my arm like a football, and carried him outside. As it was not in Michael’s character to go quietly without making the biggest fuss possible, he kicked, writhed and screamed “NOOOOOO! Not OUTSIIIIIIDE!” as if he feared for his wee little life.
Nobody thought I was removing my tot from the restaurant for any reason other than to give diners the opportunity to eat pepperoni pizza in peace. But Michael’s melodrama and my embarrassment amused my parents and another nearby set of grandparents, who laughed so hard at the spectacle that tears ran down their cheeks.
Eventually, my boys learned to sit still in a public eatery without throwing food, screeching like a macaw, or trying to make a break for the front door, but it seems to me that it took a long time before I could relax and enjoy eating out.
So I was a little disappointed that the cute little birthday boy didn’t make a scene. I waited and waited to hear some kind of loud toddler tumult from somewhere in the restaurant, but nothing happened.
I also kept my eye on a very polite and proper preschooler sitting at the table next to us. As he waited for his food, he colored on a piece of paper. He didn’t throw crayons, scribble on the table or get the slightest bit ornery.
At first I was certain that my sons had never displayed such good restaurant manners. But the more I thought about it, I wondered if my boys were better behaved than I remember. Was it possible that I was overly sensitive to every public peep that my sons made?
Maybe the birthday boy’s dad made sure everyone knew it was his son’s birthday, so that we might give the child some slack if he misbehaved?
Maybe the parents at the table next to us were worried that their child was drawing too loud?
I think I’ll just laugh at my rock bottom memories and enjoy eating lunch near well-behaved… or even badly behaving… children.
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photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/34325628@N05/7265537820″>French Kid Eating a Big Burger at Le Progrés – Montmartre, Paris</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>(license)</a>