Showering with a gallon of water or less?

It was the lure of unlimited hot water that entranced us. The dream of having a full size, recirculating shower in our van is what Pat called a “game changer.”

(If you want to see the real van lifers who designed and installed this plumbing brilliance in their van, then check out Snow and Curt’s video that describes their system.)

 (183) VAN TOUR – Tiny House with Amazing Shower (Q&A Follow Up) – YouTube

But, alas, it proved to be false hope for us, because no matter how much we wanted a big, beautiful shower in our van, the tape measure didn’t lie. It quickly became clear that there was not going to be room for a shower in our Paddy Wagon if we also wanted a queen size bed, kitchen sink, refrigerator, and composting toilet.

Compromise was necessary.

Darn it.

Pat seemed disappointed, but I was able to more easily adjust to the idea of NOT having a full size shower in the van because my fondest childhood memories are of camping and backpacking in the High Sierras for a week or two, where my siblings and I barely touched a bar of soap. And then on the way home, we always stopped at a remote hot springs that was literally called DIRTY SOCKS to soak off the stink in steaming, sulfur-smelling pools of bubbling water.

Cleanliness must have been closer to godliness in my husband’s family.

However, after much measuring, re-measuring, head scratching, general rumination, and beer-drinking, we have come up with a solution. Our plan is to shower with one gallon or less.

I’ll start with the less.

With the help of two products that Pat purchased at his favorite online auction site, we intend to NOT shower every single day. Hopefully, on days that we do not break into a flop sweat, we will be able to sufficiently clean up using Nurture Ultra Thick Bathing Wipes that promise to be “RINSE FREE No Water Required.” And then to top off our “dry” bath, we will apply Lume deodorant, a concoction of lovely vegan and cruelty free ingredients that are supposed to give our underarms, feet, and private parts a 72-hour stink-free reprieve, which sounds to me like a miracle of nature.

Now, before you assume we are complete barbarians, let me introduce you to the One Gallon part of our bathing plan.

Behold our new Geyser portable shower system.

It works like this. We pour 2 liters of cold water into the Geyser, add 1 liter of boiling water, plug it into a 12V socket, or what we used to call the “cigarette lighter.” Then, with the sponge attached to the machine via a black tube, you have approximately 10 minutes to take a warm shower in the privacy of either outdoor shower curtain enclosure that you can hang in the back or side of your van, or the wilderness,

We paid a pretty penny for this camping extravagance, but the more expensive model includes a heater that warms the water without having to boil it.

The Geyser website shows a demonstration video of a smiling man (wearing shorts, thank you) who is attacked with buckets of progressively yucky stuff that appears to be mud, paint, and colored cornstarch. And just when he reaches the peak of multicolored messiness, the stopwatch starts and he cleans himself up with his Geyser Portable Shower System, spic and span, in exactly 7 minutes and 21 seconds.

And he never stops smiling.

I’m eager to try it, but so far, I haven’t found the courage to take a shower in the middle of my driveway, since the center console of the van is the only spot I know of that has the requisite 12V socket.

We have such nice neighbors. I don’t want to upset anyone by washing my pits in public, which is what most people might consider nutty neighbor behavior.

I asked Pat if he would do a Geyser test run for me.

“Okay,” he sighed.

But that was a few days ago, and since then, I’ve only heard the whine of his power saw as he cuts wood and metal to concoct whatever he is concocting for the van right now.

We’ll get to it.

But in the meantime, we press on. When you’re building a campervan, there’s always more measuring, re-measuring, head scratching, general rumination and beer drinking to do.

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