Whoever said that birth is the “miracle of life” never had kids because after those bundles of joy pop out of your lady parts, the real miracle is raising them to be civilized members of potty-trained society.
As a dreamy adolescent, I believed that someday I would be a great mother. The basis for this delusion is that from the age of twelve, I was the primo neighborhood babysitter. I loved kids, even the brattiest, like the eight-year old boy who spit on me at a church fair, and the six-year old girl who threw a tantrum so gargantuan she knocked over bunk beds.
In my babysitting role, I forgave them, hugged them, fed them fish sticks for dinner, helped them put on their pajamas, and tucked them into bed so that when their anxious parents returned at 11:00PM, they were relieved to find a semblance of peace and order in their home.
I fully expected that motherhood would be the most joyous and fulfilling journey of my life. I was certain that someday, I would be the kind of mother who always knew what to do, what to say and would instinctively respond with grace and wisdom to every childrearing question or crisis encountered.
Then I had kids.
Mothering, I found out, is nothing like babysitting. I was shocked to discover that while my own kids could demonstrate uncharacteristic generosity and forbearance toward their teenage babysitters, they firmly believed that I was bent on ruining their lives.
If you’re a new mother, you have tasted the sweetness of joy that motherhood brings. But let me also warn you that from the moment your baby barfs on your boss to the desperate realization that a snarling, teenage beast-child lives in your house, you are in for several decades of confusion, fatigue, frustration, and occasional humiliation.
You just might not know that yet.
Fortunately, some of us moms are willing to tell you the truth.
Today is the release date of So Glad They Told Me: Women Get Real About Motherhood, the latest HerStories Project anthology, which includes my award-winning essay, Milking It.
As editor, Stephanie Sprenger, says in the book’s Introduction:
It’s no secret that motherhood has become a competitive sport in our culture. Parenting advice is often given from a vantage point of smugness, superiority, and perhaps even a touch of schadenfreude, that condition in which we derive satisfaction from another’s misfortune. In this climate of motherhood perfection, it’s tempting for moms to want to pretend they have it all together: their kids are always perfectly groomed when it’s time to meet the bus, their babies slept through the night from Day One, nursed until exactly twelve months, and were potty trained just weeks later. Their precocious offspring are all in the gifted and talented program, practice martial arts, play the violin, speak several languages, and volunteer for a sustainable living committee. These moms have never questioned their discipline strategies, raised their voices, or felt like they had no idea what in the hell they were doing as parents.
But we all know the truth, don’t we?
Whether you know the truth, suspect the truth, or haven’t a clue what the truth is, read this book. It will make you laugh, cry, wonder, and love being a mother, knowing that you are never alone in this amazing journey.
I am proud to be a contributor in the company of so many incredible women, who share their truths.
You’ll be so glad we told you.
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Order on Amazon here!