Our continuing campervan toilet dilemma: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the uglier

Good news! Pat SOLD the plus-sized composting toilet we bought before we examined the dimensions. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that we allowed our excitement to buy a toilet to hijack our common sense, but lesson learned: we will definitely read the small print from now on.

Nevertheless, congratulations to Pat, who posted advertisements for the toilet in various online marketplaces. Although several buyers immediately responded with low ball offers, my confident husband held firm until he got the price wanted, and even made a profit on the transaction. (Hey, if you are the person who bought our composting toilet, pipe down. You STILL got a great price.)

That’s the good news, but here’s the bad news: we’re back to square one. We still need a toilet, and, to quote the signs posted on our local multi-use trail, “there is no Poo-Fairy.” I know this signage is intended to encourage dog walkers to clean up after their dogs, but it also reminds me that we are not going to wake up one morning and find a magical throne on our doorstep.

Which brings me to the ugly bit, which is that, rather than searching for another expensive, high-quality can, we are now thinking about constructing our own composting toilet.

In case you’re wondering, I have totally made peace with the idea that Pat wants to build his own battery (see https://annkhowley.com/my-husband-wants-to-build-what-from-scratch/) so I am open to anything.

Yes, I have succumbed to the DIY endorphin rush that makes you believe that fear is the enemy of building a campervan, and I believe that there is nothing Pat can’t do and save money in the process.

So the ugliest truth is that when Pat showed me some articles written by mighty mortals who built their own bathrooms, I surrendered. I could not resist the lure of Pat’s latest thrifty enterprise, and the first thing I did the next morning when I turned on my computer was consult the great Google oracle to ask this question:

Do DIY composting toilets smell?

My innocent inquiry led to a bonanza of useful tips and information. Clicking link after link, I discovered these fun facts:

  1. DIY options work best if not urinated in.  (Reddit)
  2. Compost must be mismanaged significantly or venting installed incorrectly in order for it not to operate odor-free. (letsgogreen.com)
  3. Your composting toilet shouldn’t smell, but you could actually make it smell nice, by adding coffee grinds to it. (www.thetinyhouse.net)
  4. A compost pile really needs to be in the Goldilocks zone – not too cold, not too hot, not too dry and not too runny. (www.nature-loo.com.au)

5.  And here’s my new word of the day from www.diyhousebuilding.com:

FECOPHOBIC

I am happy to report that I am NOT fecophobic, based on my ability to study a photo of a DIY toilet filled to the brim with peat moss and unmentionables without breaking into a sweat or feeling like I am going to hurl.

I can’t speak for Pat, but I am sure that if he has even the teeniest hint of fecophobia, he has the personal grit to get over it.

In conclusion, since we recently celebrated St. Patrick’s Day, I’m going to substitute the words “cup of tea” in this old Irish saying…

Life is like a composting toilet, it’s all in how you make it! 

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